You kept calling me your small dog last night.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
