The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's always time for handjobs
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize