Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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