why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
time to smoke my breakfast
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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