Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this just has baby written all over it
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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