i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
