"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
