Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
