I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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