Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Randomize
