I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
