i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
