I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
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