and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
