my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm sobbing to NWA
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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