We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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