I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The air taste purple.
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