booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
