This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
