is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
