She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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