THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize