Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
