Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
