Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
