I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Randomize