we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
