I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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