The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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