You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
