i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
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