So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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