After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
