3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
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