pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
