I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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