I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
