You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
