okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
