your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize