On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize