You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
