6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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