All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
