wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
