Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
