he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
