i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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