There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
