Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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