I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
sex in a hospital.. check
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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