wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
