Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
