just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I have post one night stand depression
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