halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
