I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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