I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize