but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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