kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
