Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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