it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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