So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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