my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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