absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
