So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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