Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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