Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
