Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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