I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize