You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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