I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You were trust falling into bushes
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
