Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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