she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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