I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
How external is "for external use only"?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
