hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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