Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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