I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
