Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
