tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
