I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
