he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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