We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize