Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
