Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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