I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
