3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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